I haven’t written in this space in a while. Part of it was out of laziness and part was out of sadness. With the tragic event that took place in CT last week, everything else seemed so minor. When I thought about getting on here and telling a cute story about Lila or sharing pictures of our recent events I was struck with a pain of guilt. I spent last Friday in a whirlwind of emotions. I would be fine one minute and bawling the next. ALL DAY. Anything I did that day seemed so trivial and meaningless. Lives had been shattered, the innocence of children had been ripped away and there was nothing I could do accept sit in a ball of pity. In a way I feel bad even mentioning it, I feel like I don’t have a reason to be so upset and heartsick because I wasn’t affected first-hand. But I was affected. More affected than I have ever been in my life over any major event. I know it is because I am a parent now, the pain these families are going through seems impossible.
After Friday, I turned off all media and looked away when I saw anything relating to the tragedy pop up. That seems almost mean and callous but I simply couldn’t watch anymore. I did watch President Obama make his speech to the country and then I was a mess all over again. I have thought about it everyday.
It’s hard to go anywhere and not hear people discussing the events, asking why it happened and who would do such a thing? This has really put a dark cloud over life lately. I could sit here and tell you my stance on gun control, religion and other beliefs but that will do nothing to change the way things are. I can say there is still good out there. If you want to be encouraged and see the goodness in people, please take a look at Ann Curry’s twitter page. She started the idea of doing 26 acts of kindness for other people in honor of the victims at Sandy Hook. When I started reading her twitter feed ,I had tears streaming down my face. It has inspired me to do my own acts of kindness. I started at lunchtime when I had to go to the post office. I put some gift cards I had won to a restaurant in an envelope and wrote “Merry Christmas” on it and put it on someone’s windshield in the parking lot. I didn’t see them get it but I imagine it put a smile on their face. That is honestly the best I have felt in a while and it took 2 seconds. I look forward to continuing the kindness and hope people pay it forward.
I know this in no way heals the pain of those families but this is something small we can all do. Put a little good back out into the world.